Editor’s Note: This story originally appeared on Boldin.
The transition to retirement can be a time of feeling a little stuck.
It’s kind of like being in a pandemic. You are not quite where you want to be or doing what you want to do — but you might almost be there. These types of in-between times can be difficult in that you are waiting for something to happen.
However, just because you are waiting, you needn’t give up happiness and fulfillment.
Here are tips to help you thrive no matter your stage of life — but especially if you are in one of those awkward in-between phases.
1. Assess Your Current Well-Being
Sometimes just taking stock and reflecting on your well-being can put you on a path to making changes to your life for greater happiness.
Tyler J. VanderWeele, director of Harvard’s Human Flourishing Program, wrote a 10-question quiz to help you assess your current well-being.
Are you flourishing or languishing? Take the quiz on The New York Times website now.
2. Foster Weak Social Connections
Good friends and close family relationships can contribute to your well-being. But, so can your casual and weaker relationships.
In fact, scientists have found that casual social connections can be a big contributor to well-being.
Casual encounters might include a friendly exchange in line at the grocery store or someone you smiled at on a daily basis when you were working in an office. These types of weak connections can offer you a relatively strong jolt of happiness and well-being.
In fact, Stanford sociology professor Mark Granovetter has written about how weak connections benefit us in a number of different ways. Casual encounters can:
- Be a good outlet for expressing feelings in a nonjudgmental environment
- Give you the opportunity to get a more objective opinion on something bothering you
- Broaden your social network and can introduce you to new ideas and opportunities
- Offer a jolt of goodwill unencumbered by the complications of a relationship
To enhance your well-being, think about how to foster weak ties.
3. Celebrate the Small Things
Are you planning a big event to celebrate retirement? A special trip? A party? Expecting gifts? Or, are you just anxiously anticipating a life without obligations?
Whatever comes next, it is going to be big for you.
However, as you approach the truly momentous retirement date, now is a good time to focus on small pleasures. Psychologists call it savoring — consciously celebrating small victories, noticing something beautiful, or simply acknowledging when you feel happy.
Savoring is giving yourself the space to recognize your positive feelings — ideally while you are having a positive feeling. Commemorating little moments can increase your well-being right now.
- Take a moment to give thanks for whatever you are celebrating.
- Photograph or write about what gives you joy. (You can even make it a goal to take a daily photograph or spend three minutes jotting down what made you happy before bed.)
- Tell someone about a positive moment you have had.
- Just simply be aware when you experience a feeling of happiness.
- Take a walk for the sole purpose of finding something that makes you happy.
4. Develop a Gratitude Practice
The ability to experience gratitude actually increases as you age. So, this should be easy.
VanderWeele recommends taking time once a week to reflect upon five things in life for which you are grateful.
Write them down. Share them with your partner or a friend.
5. Do a Lot of Kind Things in One Day
As you are waiting on the big retirement milestone, you may be putting off things that will make you happy in the moment. If you want to feel good today, try little acts of kindness.
Research has found that doing several acts of kindness (acts that one would not ordinarily otherwise do) each week, over the course of several weeks, can increase your happiness and life satisfaction, and make you feel more engaged, less anxious, and more connected.
Social scientists have also found that concentrating your kindness into one day can further boost your feelings of well-being.
6. Focus on Daily Activities That Give Life Meaning
You don’t need to solve climate change or feed all of the poor in your city to live life with meaning.
You can feel an increased sense of well-being by finding purpose in everyday activities. Whether it is walking the dog, making your bed, finishing a work project, or even making dinner — completing an impactful task can give you a sense of accomplishment, especially if you take the time to acknowledge what you have done.
And, these small tasks are useful training for retirement. In retirement you are leaving your career and many people, while happy with the freedom, have a sense that they have lost their purpose.
7. Do Something You Haven’t Done Before
Retirement will give you plenty of time to try new things. However, you don’t need to wait until you are retired. Try something you haven’t before, and you are sure to improve your well-being.
Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Wharton, told The New York Times that “The first key to feeling good about life is to seek out new interests.”
The good news is that something new doesn’t need to require a grand effort, preparation, or planning. There are lots of things you could try right now:
- Buy a fruit or vegetable you have never before tasted.
- Take a new route on your daily jog.
- Ever tried sudoku? Give it a whirl.
8. Address What Worries You
Transitions are in-between times when you might be thinking about the past and perhaps what mistakes you have made as well as worrying about the future.
However, as any self-help guru will tell you, happiness is not found in the past or the future. It is found in the present.
So, what are you supposed to do about your worries about funding your future retirement? Human beings naturally want to feel in control. And, worrying about your future can give you the illusion that you are doing something — but worrying is not at all the same as productive problem-solving.
So, what can you do? Creating a financial plan, learning about personal finance, running worst-case scenarios (and creating backup plans) can give you the sense of control that you need.
The Boldin Retirement Planner gives you powerful technology for setting goals, taking control, making better decisions and staying on track.
