Romance is a lovely thing but not when an online love connection is about to nab you for $3,000 — or much, much more.
As much as anyone would like to find a sweetie on a dating app, Instagram or Facebook, the risk remains very real that you could hook up with a scammer who is more than willing to fill your empty heart with plenty of back-and-forth texting.
And then, somehow, they figure out a way to empty your bank account.
How romance scams break the bank
We’re not talking about springing for $50 or $100 for gas money. Many victims lose what amounts to a monthly mortgage payment — and some lose retirement nest eggs.
One Michigan man lost the $3,000 he put on Apple gift cards following text conversations with a supposed new love interest, possibly someone impersonating Jennifer Aniston, according to a report filed by a worried relative in November with the Better Business Bureau’s Scam Tracker.
Then, the “famous actress Sandra Bullock” somehow was chatting with another Michigan resident via Telegram, a popular messaging app that is often used by scammers.
“She claims that loves me, wants to be with me, and has even sent a (*****) picture,” according to the early December report on the BBB Scam Tracker. The consumer found Bullock on Instagram and said “Hi” as a fan. The scammers impersonating Bullock claimed to want to offer financial help, according to the report, but the victim lost $2,100 in a confusing scheme.
You’re so wrapped up in the idea of being in love that you do not think twice about rushing to the bank to withdraw some cash because, well, my new love gave me a reason to do so.
Some reports of scams are truly heartbreaking.
One grieving woman lost $135,000 after mailing gift cards, cash and using wire transfers, according to a relative who filed a report on the BBB Scam Tracker in August. The woman, who reportedly was dealing with dementia and depression, drained her account within months. The relative did not list the state where the woman lived.
The median reported loss for romance scams was $2,218 in the third quarter of 2025, according to data from the Federal Trade Commission Consumer Sentinel Network.
During that quarter, a bit more than 11,200 people reported losses to romance scams. The total loss during the third quarter alone was $398 million.
The new love may be stuck in a fraud factory
Romance scams — where experts say crooks target you and your money through online dating profiles — have been around for more than 15 years. What’s new, experts say, is how increasingly sinister and unrelenting these scams have become in the past five years or so.
Now, highly organized, industrial scam centers — or massive fraud factories if you will — are located overseas in countries like Cambodia and elsewhere, forcing human trafficking victims into carrying out some aspect of the scam. The people staffing the scam centers might have been tricked by a false job ad. But ultimately, someone in charge takes their passport and doesn’t allow the human trafficking victims to leave.
“All those people have to do is send messages all day, every day,” said Richard Graham, director, practice lead financial crime for Moody’s.
The scam ring’s first step is to try to convince you the initial texts and messages are real. Then, potential victims are referred to an even more professional team of con artists.
“These aren’t just quick scams,” Graham said. “These are long-term, relationship-based scams where they want to learn everything about you. Do you have kids? Do those kids have college funds? Because they want everything.”
And the scammers are willing to work for months on end to get your money.
The Federal Trade Commission Consumer Sentinel Network received 55,604 reports involving romance scams for the first nine months last year through Sept. 30, the latest data available. That’s up 22% when compared with the first three quarters of 2024.
In just nine months in 2025, consumers reported losing $1.16 billion to romance scams. The losses exceeded what victims reported in several other scams, including job scams with 110,653 complaints and $518.2 million in reported losses in the first nine months of 2025.
The Consumer Sentinel Network is managed by the FTC but compiles consumer complaints from various sources, including the AARP Fraud Watch Network, the Better Business Bureau and the Michigan Attorney General and other AGs across the country.
The hot scam text: ‘Are we still on?’
Graham, of Moody’s, explained that scammers follow scripts. They’ll direct a conversation one way for a 25-year-old single female and another for a 55-year-old divorced male.
The scammer may impersonate a celebrity, he said, but even more often romance scammers will simply pretend to be a beautiful, extremely successful person.
Many times, Graham said, the scam begins with a simple text message, what might appear to be an accidental message, like “Are we still on for lunch?”
If you engage with one of these wrong number messages, you might just somehow fall in love. It happens.
And then, you might find yourself buying cryptocurrency.
The scammer might only ask for a little bit of money at the start, maybe an initial investment in bitcoin or gold. But then over three or four months, as you’re confident you’re working with a real person, you send more money and ultimately discover that you no longer have access to any of that cash.
Romance scammers tell amazingly believable stories. They’ve never felt so comfortable talking to anyone. They’ve cannot imagine being this much in love. They think you’re hot — even though you’re 30 years older then they are.
A popular lie, according to an earlier FTC alert, will center on a story that your love interest or someone close to them is in jail or sick and needs money.
“Sad stories are usually scam stories,” according to an earlier FTC alert on romance scams.
Don’t send money to pay for airfare
Or maybe, you’re willing to tap into your savings so that you can finally meet the love of your life who might claim to be in the military or working abroad.
Nakia Mills, vice president of digital marketing and brand strategy for the Better Business Bureau of Michigan, said you never want to give anyone your credit card information to book a ticket so they can come to town to visit you.
The best bet, according to the BBB: Cut off contact if someone starts asking you for money or information like credit card, bank, or government ID numbers.
Sure, this new love of your life seems real. It’s designed to feel that way.
Graham said some scam centers actually have attractive models on staff who will call you to prove they’re allegedly real. Others may use video or audio that has been created by artificial intelligence.
One deepfake scam in 2024, he said, used fake voices and images of a CEO and other board members that appeared realistic enough to convince someone at a company to wire $25 million to scammers.
“We do worry that’s going to get worse as the technology gets more adopted,” Graham told me in a video call.
Thanks to some cleverly crafted scams, somehow a celebrity who could talk to anyone in the world suddenly wants to spend time texting or chatting with you via a messaging app?
Reports of Aniston being impersonated in a deepfake scam surfaced in July 2025. Bullock warned fans early last year about social media scammers who are impersonating her.
“Please be aware that I do not participate in any form of social media. Any accounts pretending to be me or anyone associated with me are fake accounts and have been created for financial gain or to exploit people around me,” according to a statement Bullock made to People magazine on Feb. 3, 2025.
Other celebrities have spoken out, too, highlighting incidents where scammers stole money by impersonating Brad Pitt and even less well-known names.
In June, I wrote that upstart country music singer Cooper Alan, who built a following on social media, disclosed that one fan lost $5,000 to scammers who were impersonating him.
Many times, scammers impersonating celebrities will reach out via social media initially. Ultimately, though, they will redirect the conversation onto platforms like Telegram or WhatsApp, Signal or another messaging application.
Graham, who works with banks in matters related to financial crime, suggests asking older adults and other potential victims whether they have any chat apps on their phones. Why do they need that? Maybe, there is a legitimate reason. But multiple scammers, he notes, will use that chat app around the clock to reach out to you.
“Banks are trying to figure out how to have better conversations with customers that are going to potentially be scam victims but don’t necessarily believe that they’re about to be scammed,” Graham said.
Does the potential victim really know where that money is being sent? Is it to a shell company overseas? Corporate structures, such as shell companies, are often used by scam centers to conceal their crimes. Multiple businesses are often registered at the same address. Moody’s research found, for example, that a single residence in South Africa registered around 61,000 companies. An address in Spain registered more than 8,000 Chinese-named businesses.
Graham, who talks to seniors groups regularly, said older adults in general are sophisticated and know that a lot of scams exist.
But what many need to realize, he said, is that they could be outmatched by the scammers. Scammers will sell lists of victims to others involved with scams, or the scammer might even impersonate someone else to target you with another scam themselves.
“Don’t feel foolish,” he said. “You’re up against people who are professionals. This is all they do every day.”
What are some steps to take to protect yourself? If a relative or someone at the bank is suggesting that you’re about to be scammed, step back and listen.
Sometimes, the crooks will go so far as to coach you on what to say when you try to withdraw the cash. Ask yourself, why should I tell the bank I need money to buy carpeting — or pay off a car loan in cash — when I have no such plans?
Carma Peters, president and CEO of the Michigan Legacy Credit Union, said the credit union seeks opportunities to discuss the possibility of financial exploitation.
“We will talk to them, document our conversation and let them know if this is a scam (which we are sure of), we have no recourse to get the money back once they take it out, wire it, or transfer it,” she said.
Consumers must stop, she said, and ask themselves: “If I do this am I OK with losing this money?”
What else should you do? Do something that is totally unsexy, like verifying the source online of an image on a profile picture or photo.
The BBB suggests that you can do a reverse image lookup using a website, such as tineye.com or images.google.com, to see whether the photos on a profile are stolen from somewhere else. Or look elsewhere online for clues that don’t add up.
And if love is in the air, do not pick up your smartphone to send a provocative shot to someone that can be later used to embarrass you or extort money from you.
Young lovers and older adults both lose money to scams, but older adults who have built up bigger retirement nest eggs, typically, can be targeted for more cash.
Adults age 60 and older reported losing $2.4 billion in 2024 to a variety of scams, up from about $600 million in 2020, according to the Federal Trade Commission.
The FTC attributed much of the spike to reports by older adults who lost more than $100,000 to some elaborate schemes, often to investment scams or romance scams.
“Older adults were nearly twice as likely as younger adults to report a six-figure fraud loss,” according to the FTC.
Love is a funny thing. You always should bring a good dose of skepticism to any new relationship to figure out if some smooth operator is handing you a line.
If you’ve never been able to lovingly look someone in the eye, you’ve got to wonder whether your lover boy or girl is legit. Sadly, they likely are not. So, go out and buy yourself a big stuffed bear or a fancy dinner.
Contact personal finance columnist Susan Tompor: [email protected]. Follow her on X @tompor.
This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Romance scams are skyrocketing as losses grow. Are you safe?
Reporting by Susan Tompor, Detroit Free Press / Detroit Free Press
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