Editor’s Note: This story originally appeared on Boldin.
For many people, retirement planning eventually expands beyond their own finances. It begins to include aging parents and other relatives, and concerns about whether they’re making sound financial decisions.
This can be uncomfortable territory. Money is personal. Independence matters. And no one wants to feel like they’re taking over or talking down to someone who raised them.
But ignoring the issue can be costly. Financial missteps later in life don’t just affect money; they can affect health, independence, and family relationships.
Why This Is Becoming More Common
Older Americans control an enormous share of household wealth, making them frequent targets for fraud and financial manipulation. And, according to experts working in elder protection, financial decision-making worsens as you age. That doesn’t mean aging parents are incapable.
However, several factors make modern financial management more difficult:
- Scams are more sophisticated.
- Financial products are more complex.
- Digital transactions are harder to monitor.
- Cognitive decline can be subtle and gradual.
The Biggest Risk Is Silence
Experts estimate that a meaningful percentage of families first recognize dementia after noticing unexplained financial losses. That’s why early, respectful conversations matter. Watch for these red flags:
- Repeated “too good to be true” offers.
- Pressure to act quickly.
- Guarantees of returns.
- Requests to move or send money in unusual ways.
In some cases, financial mistakes can even be an early signal of cognitive decline. If financial confusion is accompanied by other changes — missed appointments, repeated stories, unexplained hospitalizations, or increased falls — it may be worth encouraging a cognitive screening as part of routine medical care.
This doesn’t need to be framed as alarm; it can simply be part of good preventive health.
How to Talk to Aging Parents About Financial Concerns
Leading with facts or accusations rarely works. Experts consistently recommend empathy first. Curiosity keeps the conversation open, while judgment closes it.
Instead of saying, “This is a scam,” try: “Can you help me understand what you liked about this?”
Instead of saying, “This is a bad idea,” try: “What are you hoping this will help you accomplish?”
If conversations feel tense, a neutral third party — a financial professional, advisor, or even a trusted family friend — can help shift the dynamic from “me vs. you” to “let’s think this through together.”
Protective Guardrails Without Taking Over
There are several ways to provide protection while maintaining a parent’s autonomy:
- Trusted contacts: Many financial institutions allow account holders to designate a trusted contact who can be notified if suspicious activity appears.
- Transaction alerts and limits: Daily withdrawal caps, alerts for large transfers, or unusual activity reviews can add guardrails.
- View-only access: This allows transparency without removing autonomy.
- Credit freezes: Free and reversible, freezes prevent new accounts from being opened fraudulently.
- Shared resources: Passing along reputable tools — like the AARP Fraud Watch Network — can empower parents without making them feel monitored.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation also tracks rising elder fraud and offers public guidance that can help frame these conversations objectively.
How This Fits Into Your Own Retirement Plan
Caring for aging parents often overlaps with peak earning years, college costs, and retirement planning of your own, including:
- Helping parents financially (or not)
- Time spent caregiving
- Healthcare and long-term care considerations
- The emotional and financial tradeoffs involved
In the Boldin Retirement Planner, many users model these scenarios.
A Final Thought
Protecting aging parents financially isn’t about control. It’s about care, clarity, and preparation.
The earlier these conversations happen — before there’s a crisis — the more respectful and effective they tend to be. Planning doesn’t mean assuming the worst; it means reducing uncertainty.
