I turned 70 last summer, and let’s be honest: Aging gracefully takes actual work. It isn’t something that just happens to you. It’s a series of choices you make every single day.
Lately, I’ve caught myself slipping into some of the very traps I’ve read about and warned my readers about. It’s incredibly easy to sleepwalk into our later years, making the same foolish mistakes that drain our bank accounts, ruin our health and isolate us from the people we love.
You don’t have to go down that road, and neither do I. If we want to stay sharp, wealthy and happy, we need to take a hard look at our daily habits.
1. Joining the “organ recital”: I clearly remember when I was younger listening to old people talk incessantly about their health issues. I found it bizarre and resolved never to be one of those people.
Well, here I am at 70 and the first conversation I often have with my peers is exactly what I vowed never to do. It starts innocently enough — sympathizing with a friend’s recent illness, which then causes you to come back with your most recent trip to the doctor.
According to the Washington Post, the World Health Organization reports that older adults with positive views about getting older live on average 7.5 years longer than those with negative views
I’m making a strict rule to stop talking about myself like I’m falling apart.
2. Refusing to use hearing aids: This is a huge problem I’ve been working on. I’ve had bad hearing for many years, especially in my right ear. I finally got hearing aids a few years ago, but rarely wore them. They’d often whistle, which is embarrassing, because they weren’t in properly, and they weren’t all that comfortable.
Result? Without hearing aids, when socializing, I’d do a lot of smiling and nodding but hear very little of what was actually being said. Since continually repeating “what?” is a cruel thing to do to people, I’d find that I’d subconsciously go off into a corner and isolate myself.
Enough. A couple of weeks ago, I went back to my audiologist and had my hearing aids adjusted so they fit properly and work as intended. And I’ve started wearing them. Comfortable? Not really, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit in a corner while my friends engage in lively conversation. That’s not only stupid; it’s unhealthy.
There’s a treatment for bad hearing, and while not perfect, it beats the alternative.
3. Letting your social circle shrink: It’s so easy to let your world get smaller as you age. I’ve been intentionally expanding mine, especially to include younger people. Since my wife is 23 years younger than me, many of our friends are younger as well.
I just returned from a Caribbean vacation and techno festival with my wife and five friends, none of whom were over 50.
Studies consistently show that intergenerational friendships provide value to both sides, with positive impacts on your health and psychological well-being. Younger people gain from your knowledge and experience. You benefit from staying current and relevant.
There’s truth to the expression, “You’re only as old as you feel.” If you want to stay plugged in, plug into younger people. Yes, you might get a little ribbing and the occasional sideways glance at EDM festivals, but it’s well worth it.
4. Giving up on physical movement: Health experts are crystal clear that staying active is mandatory as you age. While I’m able, that’s exactly what I’m doing, unlike my parents, who became increasingly sedentary as they aged.
I try to ride my bike 75-100 miles every week, not just to stay healthy, but also because riding along the nearby beach makes me feel refreshed, centered and grateful to be alive.
5. Forgetting how to smile: It sounds basic, but I consciously try to be happy and smile and laugh as often as possible. Smiling spurs a chemical reaction in the brain. It releases dopamine and serotonin, which naturally increase your happiness and decrease your stress.
6. Climbing on things instead of asking for help: For those readers who haven’t reached the autumn of their lives, here’s some news for you: The changes in your abilities are gradual. You’re not going to automatically realize you’re not as tall, strong or coordinated as you used to be. And you often find that out the hard way.
If something is out of reach, ask for help. Don’t climb on furniture and end up with a trip to the emergency room. If your balance becomes an issue, use a cane or a walker without feeling embarrassed.
We also need to fall-proof our homes right now — get rid of those slippery area rugs and clear the obstacles out of the hallways. See our checklist in “The 10 Most Popular Home Upgrades for Aging in Place.”
7. Clinging to a massive, empty house: You don’t need four empty bedrooms to collect dust. Holding onto a big property drains your cash, your energy and your time.
Sell it, downsize and use that equity to actually enjoy your life instead of paying to heat and cool rooms you never use. I’ve seen too many peers refuse to let go of the family home until they’re physically or financially forced out.
Check out “7 Surprising Upsides of Downsizing as a Retiree.”
8. Ignoring your estate plan: If you die without a will or a trust, you’re leaving a big, expensive mess for your family to clean up. It’s selfish. Call an attorney, get your paperwork in order and make sure your family isn’t forced to fight over your assets in probate court.
It’s a relief once it’s done. Check out “8 Essential Legal Documents to Create Before It’s Too Late.”
9. Thinking you’re too smart to be scammed: I’ve been reporting on senior scams for more than 30 years, and I’m also a CPA. While you’d think that would make me scam-proof, what it actually suggests to me is that I’m in danger of becoming overconfident, which would make me the ideal target.
According to the FBI, elder fraud costs Americans billions of dollars every single year. Don’t answer calls from unknown numbers, never click weird links in text messages and stop assuming you’re immune to a clever con.
10. Refusing to adapt to new technology: Saying “I just don’t do computers” isn’t a badge of honor; it’s a liability. You don’t need to be a hacker, but you do need to know how to navigate online banking, use a smartphone and spot a fake email.
A study in Nature Human Behaviour found that regular use of digital technologies (computers, smartphones, internet) is associated with a 58% lower risk of cognitive impairment and a 26% lower rate of cognitive decline in adults over 50.
This one is easy for me, since I own this website. But I still need to consult the wife when I can’t figure out something on my iPhone or how to post on Instagram. And I do ask for help, because it’s important to keep learning. Otherwise, the world will gladly leave us behind.
